You Turn Me Upside Down

So there's this funny thing about making your own lists and goals and what not....sometimes...they were never meant to happen. In my case, the list that starting this blog was all about what I was going to accomplish this summer. I was going to apply to medical school, take the MCAT and basically get prepared to graduate in the spring. However, God decided to laugh at my plans and make a much better strategy for me. First he gave me absolutely no desire to apply for medical school.........now if you don't know me...this is a HUGE CHANGE to what I was before. This past year my entire focus has been on how to better myself to get into med school....but instead...I needed to better myself by focusing entirely on God. To take out all the distractions of life that come from jobs and school and relationships and "be still in His presence". That's my happy place.....chatting it up with God. He needed to "break" me, the cycle I was in....that was taking me no where...and especially not closer to Him. This was a major problem. God loves me, He wants an intimate relationship with me....one where when I'm down at my lowest I praise Him to be alive...and when I'm at my highest I am humble before Him knowing He is good. Because oh my goodness, He is. It's so obvious in the world around us...but typically we're too blindsighted to see the beauty of His creation...that each and every one of us takes for granted. Just like I took for granted having the desire to go to medical school. 

I've always known that I have a heart for missions. I feel an utter longing to go. Anywhere. Everywhere. To preach the good news of Christ. And yet....when I thought about college....I didn't think about missions work, I thought instead about the lingering future. I thought about my goals and what I wanted to do, instead of what God has been calling me all my life to do. Missions. So no more medical school for me, unless He places that direction on my heart. He's oriented my plan to reflect His...which is for me to do nursing, which will enable me to take part in missions work much more quickly than if I had gone the medical school way. It is such a joy to see what the Lord is doing in my life, and what He will continue to do. I only pray that I have the discernment to know that he's the pilot of this love story...I'm just along for the ride.